#4: Beatles covers

The Beatles are considered by many to be the greatest band of all time. I don't deny that, they are very good. I'm not fanatical about them. I do, however, respect them as a band. I also don't hate covers. They can be very well done, but they can also be awful. But recently commercials have been using Beatles covers as the soundtrack, and it's been just terrible. The Beatles were so inventive in their music and made something incredible with just about everything they did, but then the Jonas Brothers play "Hello, Goodbye" in a target ad, and some blackberry commercial has some band playing "All you need is love.*" I feel like Beatles songs should be viewed as precious in the music industry like Citizen Kane and The Godfather and never be remade.

*For the record, I hate this song. Mostly because of the lyrics.

#3: Remakes on youtube

So many videos are great. And most of them are great because they are incredibly original. But for some reason people want to remake these great videos. I don't quite understand it. People like to reenact funny sketches from SNL or other youtube videos. Talking about something that is cool is fine. But remaking it? What's the point? This all stems from the jk wedding entrance video. Everyone fell in love with this video this summer because its great and original. But all of these remakes are dumb. No one cares if you can imitate a super popular youtube video.

If you'll excuse me, I have to go make a video of my baby brother biting my finger.

#2: Public Marriage Proposals

Last week some guy who works on "Ellen" proposed to his girlfriend, who also works on the show. Naturally, I had hoped she said no, she did not. First of all, I can't stand cutesy couples, or seeing people happy. Secondly, it's a bit douchey to bring such attention to yourself. This is Ellen's show! Ellen DeGeneres is a funny lady! I enjoy her show and I'm not even a 40 year-old white, house wife! No one cares about your future life and your future wife (rhyming!). I hate how people will pay thousands of moneys (that's a denomination, right?) to get a blimp or use a giant tv to proclaim their undying love for some girl. You're interrupting an entire baseball game to get on the local news and have 50 people around you go "Aaaaw" and clap. I guess I'm ok with proposals in a fancy restaurant, although, I haven't been in too many fancy restaurants in which proposals have been made. Fancy people would just clap politely and say "that was nice" and get back to eating their steaks and reading the New Yorker through their monocle. See, I like fancy people. but I hate Public Marriage Proposals.

#1: Thunder Sticks

Last night I went to my second college football game as a student. Before walking into the student section, these people were standing near the steps handing out these little packets of something. I didn't want them, about 30 seconds later I realized I was the only one who didn't take one of these little packets. These little packets held some thundersticks! Oh, how I hate Thundersticks. They're awful. I don't understand the point of them. I thought "maybe it's so you can clap more easily." But that doesn't make sense. It takes more effort to slap those damn things together. They make such an annoying noise, and when you're completely surrounded by them, they create surprisingly enormous winds. Winds are not comfortable when it 40º out. Plus, they just beg for penis jokes. I firmly believe these awful products were only created to be as annoying as possible.